Thursday, August 13, 2009

Wow!

Has it seriously almost been a month since I've posted? I suppose it has! And today I should focus my energy on Aiden since he is ONE today! (Sigh. Tear.)
I want to do a quick update, however.

Okay, maybe it won't be quick.

On Tuesday night I went to see Julie & Julia with a bunch of bloggin' buddies. On the surface it was a cute show that I thoroughly enjoyed. There was more to it, however, than that. I related to the movie on a deeper level. It was a reflection of things I have been feeling and experiencing over the past year in my life. I found it interesting that there were so many parallels of my life to the movie. First, the movie takes place over 365 days. My little journey has been about a year as well. Julie turned 30 in the movie, as did I last week. And on both these birthday anniversaries, we (Julie and I) felt satisfied with our journeys. Third, blogging was a part of it all.

I found myself wondering at the existence of my life about a year ago. I was a new stay-at-home mother who just gave birth to my last child. I realized that with Aiden's birth went a part of life that I had always anticipated: pregnancy. But with that went infancy as well. I noticed time was moving too quickly and I was not jumping quickly enough.

I had to do something.

It was about this time I decided to take blogging more seriously. I am glad I did. It has been such an sensory experience. I am more alive now as I look for things in life to write about. I notice the scent of the flowers as I walk by them at night. I appreciate the rain on my face and attempt to find words to describe it. I revel in the feelings when my children and I play.

I never find myself writing these things in my blog, however. But I do them. And I am becoming a better person for noticing the world around me.

My relationship with Dan, though always wonderful, has even improved. I love him so much and am finding myself more open to showing him that. I try new parenting techniques I read about on other blogs and have seen success. I am slowly becoming the mother I would like to be, the mother I KNOW I can be.

But there were times that I wasn't so "enlightened." It took awhile for me to put blogging into perspective. Though many do not know this, I plan to begin a new blog soon. I would worry so much about how I could make this blog better. If I couldn't get readership here, how could I get it elsewhere? There were a few posts I did that I thought were funny and learned the hard way that they were not funny to all. I had my own private "meltdowns" as Julie did in the movie.

All in all...I have learned that I love to blog for the fun of it. So what if neither of my blogs go anywhere? I do it for the love of it. I do it because it has reawakened my vocabulary, my love of writing, my love of life.

So, taking a month off has been a product of this journey. I have had a wonderful month filled with birthday parties (5 of them!), play groups, first days at school, a growing business, and many more exciting things. The best part was that I thought of you all during these times! I might not have posted, but you were with me!

Thank you for accompanying me in my self-aware walk through blogosphere!

Love to all,
Amber

6 comments:

Kristina P. said...

I think that this is such a great post about your blogging journey!

Emilee said...

Thanks for sharing with us Amber. I think we can all relate on some level. I know for me it has been an outlet and I have been able to share on a more personal level the struggles that I go through. I often thought if I let anyone see that I wasnt strong, people would think less of me. I have come to find that people need people to be real and they still love me for me. Love you!

Sarah said...

Happy Birthday Aiden!!! And to the momma that actually gave birth!!! :) And I do love your blog and always get your humor!

Cal said...

Great post. I love to blog too, I never know if anyone ever gets anything out of it, but I love to read other peoples blog, they help me and my journey in life!

Janessa said...

First of all, happy birthday twinner!!! Hope you had a good one and are enjoying 30. I'll have to check out that movie. I haven't heard about it. I'm so out of the loop. I'm excited to see your new blog. You are always doing so many many neat things. I'm so impressed. Are you making your blog into a book? Check out blurb.com or ask me about it if you want more info. Blogging is such a great way to record your life and I love that there are companies out there that can help preserve that record. I promise I'm not a saleswoman for them or getting a commission:) It's just a really great product available that all bloggers should know about.

Jamie Y said...

Yes, happy birthday to you too! I haven't heard of that movie but I so want to see it now. I know exactly what you're saying about the blog thing, it does make me more aware of life and I am guilty of doing fun things with my kids just so I can blog about it and they'll look back and think what a fun mom they have. I am soooo lame. PS-I want to hear more about this new business and blog!